Tags: house

treelights

So Happy

I'm so happy I could burst. My feelings right now taste like toasted pumpkin seeds shaken on an old pan over a smoky fire outside where it's cold and bright yellow and clear.

If I want to move myself to tears, I can simply walk from room to room of my house, or to the Autumn ensconced yards of the house. I compare each place I walk here with where I came from and where all I've been. And tears of joy and a kind of shock come up and overwhelm me. I find my hands over my mouth, holding in my breath to stay quiet in case something wakes me from the dream.

I think about it as winning the lottery when I am feeling more positive, and I fear there has been some mistake or that we won't be able to hold onto this when I am negative, but one thing is for sure, I feel so grateful to have this new place, this constant beauty, and the lovely dreams this house is made for and so kindly giving to us.

The ghosts of the house have welcomed me to stay.